Sunday, February 10, 2013

Today is a bad day: A Manifesto

I got in a fight with my wife at six o clock in the morning today, and I dont really feel like writing the next chapter in my newest book. Instead I'll tell you a little bit about why I do what I do, and how I do it.
To start with, I work a bad job that I hate. This is not a plea for sympathy or anything. The job pays me well enough to live a comfortable middle class existence. I simply hate it. If you were to go back in time and tell the ten year old me, or the fifteen year old me "For the rest of your life you will work for the ______ as a ______" he would be pretty upset.
I have given up on this job completely. Every day I do the bare minimum. I will never be promoted, or transfer to a better location, I simply will exist in this space.
I have little to no contact with my family members. They live a thousand miles away. I call my parents maybe once a month. They are all a part of a small cult of religious fundamentalist, which I dont approve of and have been excomunnicated by.
I believe my wife hates me, and is planning to get a divorce once she finishes college. I believe this because she tells me this directly to my face, and often. She also criticizes my weight and body odor, among other things. I have been trying to stay at work longer and longer to avoid her.
The one thing that keeps me going is my writing.
Everyday I start out with a goal of two thousand words. Whatever story I am writing, add two thousand words to it, for at least five days a week. Once I've written a length of thirty to fifty thousand words, I cut the umbiblical cord, get a cover made up, and ship my baby off to the Amazon Kindle store. I have been doing this now since 2010. I have started making actual money since 2011.
The highest royalty check I have been paid is $1400. The average is around $300. When I started I made nothing, didnt sell a copy.
My wife controls the finances with an iron fist (although she doesnt work) but the money I make off of Amazon is mine. I spend it on stuff I enjoy, mostly books or comics or video games, which she criticizes.
I write whatever I want. Usually military fiction, based on my time in the Marines, or genre fiction, such as science fiction or fantasy. The worlds in my head are mine and mine alone.
I have gotten five star reviews, and I have gotten one star reviews. I dont give a flying fuck either way. I dont care if anyone reads my work. Thats not why I write. If you like it, good for you, but the same if you dont.
This feels good to get out.

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